dancing with Jesus

This picture was taken after the 8th Grade Graduation, on May 30th.  And I think it was the last time that I saw Pastor Jerry.

Well done, good and faithful servant.

I can’t wait to give you a big hug in heaven!

But I’m still going to miss you down here…

May 12, 1939 – July 14, 2011

HOME WHERE I BELONG
Pat Terry BJ Thomas

They say that heaven's pretty
And living here is too
But if they said that I
would have to choose between the two
I'd go home, going home, where I belong

And sometimes when I'm dreaming
It comes as no surprise
That if you look and see
The homesick feeling in my eyes
I'm going home, going home, where I belong

While I'm here I'll serve him gladly
And sing him all my songs
I'm here, but not for long

And when I'm feeling lonely
And when I'm feeling blue
It's such a joy to know that
I am only passing through
I'm headed home, going home, where I belong

And one day I'll be sleeping,
When death knocks on my door
And I'll awake and find that
I'm not homesick anymore
I'll be home, going home, where I belong

never a dull moment

…though it was close there for a second.

As our school year is drawing to a close, I’m forcing myself to relax as much as possible this beautiful Friday morning, despite all of the things I have on my To Do list. It’s the last Friday morning I have in this apartment, which I moved into less than a year ago today.

Sunday is our last school day, and Monday is graduation. Tuesday we finish cleaning out our classrooms, and then we’re officially done. Where did the time go? It feels as though I just met these kids.

Time flies when you’re having fun.
Time also flies when you have a lot of work to do.

When you’re having fun AND you have a lot of work to do, time becomes a Mach 3 supersonic jet with space shuttle thrusters.

I went from teaching an average of 4.5 hours a day last year to 5 hours a day this year.  This doesn’t seem like much of a change, except when you realize that teaching High School art really doesn’t require much work at all.  I had to prep for 5-15 classes a week.  Each project usually took a few days or even weeks. Prep was a joke.

Teaching elementary school classes, on the other hand, feels like you’re constantly running.  Classes are far shorter and there were 27 of them in total, plus, projects rarely go longer than a single class period.  I’m learning how to be organized!  (Note: that’s the present progressive….learnING. I’ve got a LONG way to go.)

This year has also been a huge change in lifestyle.  Because my visa was in limbo for so long, and my passport was expiring, I didn’t have the opportunity to travel much.  But that didn’t matter, because with the slight pay cut and the moving expenses, the car, and the cat, there wasn’t much extra leftover at the end of the month to travel, anyways. I’m not complaining, it’s just part of life.  I’m being refined and realizing more and more the value of money and the importance of budgeting.

Not that I haven’t complained to God many times this year.

(Again, I’m still learnING.  Still growING.  And I don’t think that ever stops!)

Last Friday, I was bored. Not bored as in “lack of things to do” but bored in the “where is my life going” kind of sense. I half-collapsed onto my living room floor and prayed. (It seems to be where I get most of my feelings out…lying on my back on the rug, staring at the ceiling).

I needed something new. 

And I’m learning that God really likes to answer those prayers.

That afternoon Pastor Jerry’s sermon was on “Time” and how we spend the little time we have on earth. (This is normal: He almost always preaches directly at me.)

The next day, Saturday, I found out that I’d probably be moving apartments. On Sunday, we visited our potential apartment.  We walked through it saying, “WOW….” at everything. On Monday, we were told that we had it.

It’s vacant this Sunday and we’ll probably be moving on Thursday.  Six days away.

Amazing how things change so quickly!  It’s why we can’t really say, ¹³ “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”  (James 4:13-15)

He knows our hearts. He knows our desires.  And He wants us to be fulfilled in Him, not in ourselves. He’s got THE PLAN, and He has chosen us to be a part of it. And we’ve got to trust that everything He leads us through will be used for good.  (And, if we ever slip off the path, we just have to stop and tell Him, and then turn around, and He’ll lead us back to His plan.  He’s faithful and forgiving and awesome like that.)

Life can change in an instant.

But I’m learning that the longer you walk with God, the more you learn to trust Him, the more you read His word and obey Him, the more you realize the promises that He has on your life.  He’ll never leave you, He’ll never abandon you.

All things work together for good.

I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next few days or weeks or months or years. But I know that, God WILL be with me in everything, whether I choose to see Him there or not.

One night I dreamed
I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

And I can’t wait until the day I see Him face to face.

Kuwait National Holiday, 50-20-5, on February 25/26, 2011

50 years of Independence – Happy Golden Jubilee, Kuwait!

20 years of Liberation – and we keep praying that Kuwait will be completely free

5 years with the current Emir – may he be given wisdom and vision and a long life!

May Kuwait be free from oppression and corruption…

And may the peace that passes understanding rule this country, now and forever.

God Bless Kuwait!

You were born for this

^{Psalm 139:16}

Your eyes saw my unformed body; 
all the days ordained for me were written in your book 
before one of them came to be.

As I sit here, on a cool February morning, drinking my hot coffee, with my cat lounging beside me, I can’t help but consider…

…I live alone.

Ten years ago, had you told me that at 27 that I’d still be single, without a miniscule hope of marriage, I’d have cried and argued. I wanted a husband. I wanted a bunch of kids. I wanted to be a soccer mom. (Don’t laugh. It’s valid. It’s what my culture called success.)

…I live in Kuwait.

Five years ago, had you told me I’d be joyfully living and working in the Middle East, I’d have laughed and called you crazy. I could never imagine living so far away from my family.

…I’m enraptured by the Holy Spirit.

Three years ago, had you told me that I’d be comfortable in Charismatic circles and interested in global evangelism, I would have said that it was not part of my personality or gifting. I’m shy and quiet. I don’t believe with those ‘hypocritical judgmental people’.

…I’m a youth leader.

Two years ago, had you told me I’d be in charge of teaching the Bible to 12 middle school girls on a weekly basis, I would have questioned my ability and made a million excuses as to why I couldn’t do it. I’m introverted. I’m an assistant, not a leader. I’m not organized enough. I’m awkward. I’m a dork.

…I teach at the church.

Last year, had you told me I’d be working at TLA this year, I would never have imagined how it would come to be. I’d have wondered how I would find the skills to teach ages I’d not been trained to teach.

 

And right now, as I sip my now-lukewarm coffee and get ready to start my day, I thank God from the bottom of my heart that He does not let me become only who I plan to be.

I thank Him that He does not let me hide behind my weaknesses.  Because light shines brightest in darkness. My weakness glorifies His strength.

I thank Him that He has a plan for my life, that He’s had a plan for my life before I was even created!  My parents may not have planned for me to be born, but God had a purpose for me before the world began, and He won’t stop until I’m the woman He meant me to be from the beginning.

And He’s got a purpose for His Church, too. As Reinhard Bonnke said, “You are not filled with the Holy Spirit just to be happy and clappy and blessed.”

Christine Caine said it in another way:

"[Jesus] didn't come so we could do our nice comfortable routine and lifestyle. He came so we could fulfill the works He established for you and me beforehand. Somehow we have replaced this life God has for us with the safe life we have created for ourselves. Somehow we have told ourselves it's okay not to take risks. But God has a job for us to do on earth. The whole purpose of life is not to arrive at death safely."

Our job is to bring hope to the hopeless.

Justice to the oppressed.

Healing to the hurting.

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61:1-3

And that’s why Christ lives inside of us.

So that we can continue the work of Jesus.

To bring His light into their darkness.

To shine like stars in the universe.

Christ in me

Every day, for several weeks now, I’ve been waking up to the song Everything by Tim Hughes. 

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

It’s a reminder from the second I’m pulled from the subconscious world so early in the morning, that my focus can’t be on myself. And although that’s hard to take at 4:45am, it’s also very comforting.

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

But it’s so easy to get caught up in the trivial things of life. I can’t travel to 12 different countries a year anymore, because I have a car to pay off, and student loans, and groceries, and a cat, and other real-life adulty things.  But these are the things that make this place home, as opposed to a temporary adventure.

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

But for weeks now, perhaps months, God’s been slowly revealing to me the words, “Christ in you”, and what that means. The more I meditate on it, The more I realize that it’s more than just a comforting idea to induce smiles.

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

We just completed a week-long fast, called by Pastor Jerry to the Church. It went faster than I thought it would, and despite a few evenings of intense cravings, it wasn’t as difficult as I’d anticipated. And it was …good. I’ve never successfully stuck to a fast before (and it’s still debatable as whether or not I stuck to this one properly, but I’m not looking to be legalistic here). When you intentionally weaken your defenses and take away your comfort objects (no coffee and no chocolate makes Katie something something), your shortcomings come to the surface a WHOLE lot faster. It’s a controllable way of seeing some of the things that need to be addressed and recognizing the places that God needs to heal… in preparation for the times when we’re uncontrollably weakened by our circumstances.

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

No, it’s not easy to be bombarded by your weaknesses. But, as we learned this morning in devotions, if we don’t address our weaknesses and shortcomings ourselves, the enemy will most assuredly use them against us. And the enemy is not going to be gentle about it, like our loving Creator.

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me, the hope of glory
You are everything

Wisdom. Power. Authority. Grace. Love. And that’s only the beginning…

²²“I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one.²³I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.   John 17:22-23

Be my everything.